What Men and Women Expect in Messages? (Data-Based Tips)
Author: FlirtWise
17 Feb 2025
3 mins read
Online dating can feel like navigating a minefield—especially when you're not sure what kind of messages actually work. Have you ever wondered what makes someone reply instantly, while other messages are left on read? Well, data doesn't lie. Let's break down what men and women actually expect when it comes to online conversations.
Why Understanding Message Preferences Matters
Knowing what your potential match values in a conversation can drastically increase your success rate. Whether you're on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or any other dating app, tailoring your approach based on common expectations can help you stand out from the crowd.
What Women Look for in Messages
Personalization
- Women receive a flood of generic messages like “Hey” or “What’s up?”. These often get ignored. Data shows that messages referencing their profile or interests lead to a 50% higher response rate.
- Example: “I saw you love hiking! Any favorite trails around here?”
Respectful & Polite Tone
- Compliments are appreciated but avoid anything overly suggestive. Women prefer messages that reflect genuine interest rather than focusing solely on appearance.
- Example: “Your dog looks adorable! What’s their name?”
Open-Ended Questions
- Starting a conversation that invites more than a simple “yes” or “no” keeps the flow going. Women appreciate questions that let them share more about themselves
- Example: “If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?”
Confidence (Not Cockiness)
Messages that show confidence without being arrogant work best. Women appreciate when you take the lead but also respect their space.
What Men Look for in Messages
Directness & Simplicity
- Men tend to favor clear, straightforward communication. Data suggests that men respond more positively to messages that get to the point rather than being overly complex.
- Example: “Hey, I liked your profile. Wanna grab coffee sometime?”
Playfulness & Humor
- Men enjoy light-hearted banter and humor. A funny comment about their bio or photos can break the ice effectively.
- Example: “So, did your friend survive taking that wild hiking photo?”
Interest in Their Passions
- Men appreciate when someone takes the time to notice their hobbies or passions. It makes them feel valued beyond their looks.
- Example: “That guitar pic is awesome! How long have you been playing?”
Compliments (But Subtle)
- While compliments are appreciated, men prefer when they feel natural and not overdone.
Key Takeaways
Women value personalization, respect, and meaningful questions.
Men appreciate directness, humor, and interest in their hobbies.
Both genders respond well to authenticity. Being genuine always wins.
How AI Can Help You Nail the Perfect Message
Crafting the ideal message can be time-consuming. That’s where FlirtWise comes in. Our AI-powered dating assistant analyzes profiles and suggests customized openers designed to maximize your chances of getting a reply.
Stop guessing what works. Let data and AI guide you to better conversations and more matches.
Download FlirtWise today and transform your dating experience!